Response to question 16 or something

Dee, Ky and myself are doing round two of our question game. I decided that my answer to question 16 deserved some sort of award. Perhaps an appearance on a game show or some good tv series.

The question was who would you want to be with on a deserted island.

hmmm difficult.....family as well.....add natalie portman (wife). shes good with a bow. and i think bow skills are necessary. plus wow is she hot. umm what else...probably John Locke from Lost...or Jack..they both seemed to do very well. Locke is an excellent hunter and his knife skills are off the chart. Having Jack there as the Doc would be a great idea as well. His character is a bit suspect however, he has trouble dealing with his emotions. I think I can handle this problem though, being an outsider and having seen the entire series. I would probably start with telling him its ok to love Kate. She's a great person despite having killed her abusing father. I think she did the right thing though, sometimes there just isn't a proper justice system to deal with scum like him. Actually she would be a great asset as well, she's quite devilish but proved to be a great tracker. It would be tough though, I could see her having to compete with Natalie for my love. But seeing as we're on an island, I think I could get away with having a dual wife deal. But if Jack made any move on her I'd have to decapitate his penis. It would be cool if the island turned out of to have some characteristics of the island on lost too. Then it would gives us all something to do. I could see dad and I having a great time bonding while adventuring on the island. We don't have much for hunting skills but we could learn together. Plus if we found the dharma project I'm sure they would have some bikes we could rip around on. I think Desmond should come too, I always enjoyed his wit. I just don't know if I would live on the beach or in the hatch. I like the hatch but you kind of lose the feeling of the island there. I could also live in the caves. For sure not in the dharma project though. Reminds me of a colony. I could see Deena turning into a witch doctor. Kyla would be more of the generally happy positive go to woman. Possibly losing her sanity over time. Dan would definitely end up living with the animals, probably running around scantly clad with a spear. Rob would be the button pusher in the hatch, toting an ak-47 but not really knowing how to use it. Mom of course would be Kyla's go to for any big problems, living in that mysterious shack. But the catch would be only dad and I would know how to actually see her. She would have many leather bound books, and ultimately hold all of the answers. All of the kids, Kinsey Willis and Lucia- they would be prodigies each having their own mysterious power. Kinsey - telekinetic for sure, but she would never use this power for anything usefull, probably end up just throwing bananas at people and juggling monkey feces. Willis would have super strength , but again would only use this power to heave stones into the water, and sometimes throw Dan into the ocean. Lucia would be the telepath, however she would only sing old cartoon theme songs, eventually driving the entire island mad. That is all. I'm going to blog this. Blog on.

Une change de vitesse

Or something like that. It has been (x) number of days since my last blog. Finally several doors have been slammed shut. One personal finding: I am not myself when I'm waiting to hear on job opportunities. I'm a different person, possible under the influence of Cram. For those who don't know who that is, too bad. I do feel a lot better now. Sentence structure is, overrated. Use of foul language is prohibited. Loitering will result in decapitation of reproductive organs. That just gave me a bright idea. A Chuck quote.

" Jump to Manus sitting in his piss and silver in the trunk of his red sports car. Potty training flashback. It happens."

Actually I can do better. Simmer on that one for two seconds whilst I find another. Quick side note : because you( the reader) don't have to actually wait (penis) for me to find another quote, I'm making you read this filthy banter to give you a sort of....implanted ambush of useless words in a form of a sentence...that way you will have actually waited ( in my world) the same amount of time it took me to find another quote. Double side note..FAIL because I just realized me writing this little...chorus of jelly..actually takes me time. Hence my whole idea is in shambles because I'm..Ron Burgundy????? So whatever I'll just aNnOy yOu bY dOIng this. ok I'll get a quote.

Ok I looked for 5 minutes and this stuff is just way to awesome to unleash on my blog. Read it yourself. Invisible monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. I hate this blog it sucks. Deena said I should write about my sisters wisdom. Plural. Such a thing does in fact exist. I turn to them both for dating advice. Then I re-read that and realize I've been single for two years. bahaha. Ok joke-sisters always give sound advice-it's just me who screws it up. It's like getting instructions then just doing the exact opposite because oh my god I've gone cross-eyed. Movie quote. You'd think I could come up with something original. NOT A CHANCE. I remember when I got dumped for the first time and my sisters wrote a letter that said they still loved me and slid it under my bedroom door. That's a cherished memory. I also remember directing several of their old boyfriends to where their underwear was. I wonder now if these creeps asked me to do it? or if I thought that was just the way it should be. Anyway. Ya. thats about it. True. I learned the tener verb in spanish class last night. Then I ate pizza from a new place in town. That's probably why I woke up at 3:13 in the morning. I hate this blog. Blog off.

In Soviet Russia, car drives you !

One of these days I'll dig down deep and write something truly meaningful. Just which of ''these'' days it will be is an absolute uncertainty. So. An uneventful ish weekend spent talking about motorbikes and boomerangs. I should have sat down and wrote this 5 minutes ago I was really hyper and my thoughts were mixing like urine and feces at a shady bar in Winnipeg. Now I'm much more relaxed; a little fatigued even. You see I made these two monstrous burgers. It's quite nice out so I decided that it was an opportune time to venture forth onto the deck where the barbecue is located. I opened the balcony door onto the deck. I was shocked to find it vacant. The last time I was out there, there were two lawn gnomes frollocking about in spandex. They confronted me with deep philosophical questions. Where did the snow go? Why does the dog pee on me? What did you do with my drugs? I had no answers for them. I could only tell them they needed real jobs and that I heard www.travelocity.com is hiring. Oh and yes, that was advertising. Travelocity recently approached me with a sponsorship deal. I travel the world spreading my new religion! It's actually not new, but I've taken up the old Viking belief system. One day I will die, and when I get to Valhalla, I shall battle everyday against my greatest enemies! At night we shall all join in a feast and drink mead out of the skulls of our best adversaries.....so there I was. On the deck. Thinking of throwing animal meat on the burning coals. And oh ya the gnomes weren't there. That's where this all began I do believe. So I made the burgers, I ate the burgers. Then I pooed the burgers. Well my roomate is now home so I suppose I'll abandon this delightful blog and go on to more sane things such as playing vids for the rest of the night in my underwear. It's going to be magical. Side note : glad to here me Pa is doing quite well. I'm sure he's happy he has such a great sane son. Jets suck yankees suck rangers suck

Hoy es Miercoles, ocho de marzo

Well I've finally sat down after a long weekend to blogify my feelings on current events. The weekend was I spent fernie in. the. I spent Fernie in weekend mountain. haha wait I have an awesome idea...stag a on Fernie in weekend spent I. You can't tell how long it took me to write that, but I fell over and had a few convulsions before I could finish. While I was convulsing the maid walked in ( I'm in Lethbridge for work ) and we shook hands and came to an agreement : ( wait ...that looks like a sad face, it's really a colon, then parentheses, where I was going to explain that I'm in a hotel, which is why there is a maid. And now we come round to what I was beginning to say in the sentence just previous to this one ) do I have to close those now ? I think so. So. so so. What the hell was I talking about oh yes the maid. She was in here. Cleaning I presume. I assume to presume the maid was in here cleaning and convulsing was I on the floor when we agreed that four kangaroos are just enough to lift me from my current convulsing state to a more thoughtful sitting pose. The stag was fun by the way if you were wondering. I have all appendages..I think that means body parts, and they are attached. Dangly parts. hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. But yes much fun was had by all. I ran into a fellow from Prince Albert I believe his name was Graham Kaptein. He got kicked off the hill for snowboarding IN THE DANGER ZONE. I can only be lead to believe this danger zone had furry yetis trolloping about. And then we came home. Battered from excessive drinking, bruised from falling on my anus. I'm stuck in Lethbridge for the week or until tomorrow or I really don't know when I'll go back because. HAHA suckers thought I was going to write a complete sentence then BOOM movie quote or some such nonsense. Alright I've had enough. Until next time - deleted.

Manana es Viernes

A la media noche, el es cumpleanos de mi hermana. Or something like that. Kyla ( sister ) ( ish ) ( well no really she is my sister ) ( oh also she broke my thumb once ) well its her birthday. She turns....28.  Which means inherently I turn 26 at some point this year. My birthday is unlike most. It rotates on a triangular format orbiting sequential number patterns that can only be truly recognized by delivering perpendicular angles to small baby elephants. So with that said. I lost my train of thought. My mother just messaged me on facebook and it totally just took the momentum out of this bloggish. Did you know that baby seals are born french? It's only later that we find out how exactly they manage to blossom into lovely .... actually I'm tired of this nonsense. If you are reading this, I require a dozen donuts delivered to me by 5 a.m tomorrow. If you do not comply - I won't rewind those tapes I lent you. Or wait. that you lent me. remember. the tapes. ADIOS MI ROBOTS

This isn't going to be pretty, but donkey's don't care

Cuatro burros atacaron mi robot. That's right and don't you forget it. I never know what to write in these things. But hey it doesn't have to make sense and je ne care pas. I'm watching the Long way down right now and it's blowing my mind. What an adventure. I'm following my sisters lead on this whole blog idea. So I'm really going to try and make an effort to write as much as I can. I'm not making any promises though, they will be random. Hopefully I can tap into it when my randomness is at it's peak. So until then. Pee your pants this evening while you sleep. It's refreshing. Cheers.