week 4 of the AMERZING RERCE CERNERDA. feat DMX on a sleigh ride

Sean Connery: Whats the difference between you and mallard with a cold? One is a sick duck and i can't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore.

hababahahahaaha.

its funny because its a big hat.

ok so this week on the "amazing race NOT ALWAYS CANADA " the teams find themselves in Macau, China, which was founded in England but later moved to china for financial reasons, and pushed through congress by lemmings, which from what i understand are small creatures who enjoy sun bathing and young dutch models.

anyhow, xmen 2 is on tv right now, so im going to take a small break and watch until the next commercial break.

well, there was a break here, it may not seem like it unless i write it in....

30 minutes have elapsed, and young Robert finds himself writing about himself in the third person. hes trying to be clever whilst remaining focused on his task : writing a summary of an un-original tv series with a red head host, who is satans spawn.

ok ok ok ok. ummm Macau looks nice. and such. after this week ,i find myself disliking the hippies douche bags ( RIGHTEOUS ) ( RADICAL ) ( BRO ) ( DUDE ) because of their hippy slang nonsense, they are probably without jobs.

Moms team kicked ass again, if this keeps up, she will have the race locked up in no time !!!!! we have yet to see them really struggle. time will tell.

the bartenders / cross dressers ???????? made a big move, im sure dad will be happy. less so with the cross dressing ......

and ...... the gay fellers !!! in TURD PLACE !!!! ... hahah....wow...for several reasons. mostly because they got 3rd. yay Gay !!

deenas back up squad came next. i think CORMAC THE HUNGRY ( sounds barberous but i think it fits ) may snuggle up inside his moms WOMB every night to sleep. well they are in 4th, again

willsters twins in 5th, the treacherous french scum they are. ( T URD ) ahahah

french

robs hippies are in 6th . surprising everyone with their quick mathematical skills .

jens frenchies ( My second fave team ) had a close call but made it through.

Kylas soon to be eliminated team almost lost it, im so happy they have degrees in something. im sure they both contribute a LOT at their new jobs at mcdonalds.

looks like we are back to canada next week, the yukon, which was named after a truck several years ago. im told its a land full of unicorns and ping pong tournaments.

let us hope this week goes by , and we dont get trapped in some sort of time paradox where shania twains hit track " my heard will go on " is played on repeat but its not actually her voice, its Cher's, who is actually a zombie robot under the control of Sarah palin PAYLIN whatever shes crazy. oh oh oh and yes i know shania twain didnt write that song, it was written by that french lady , rita macintire.

amerzering race werk 1, two and 4-1 , dont read if you are easily offended or Joseph Stalin

Week uno

 

BOOOMMM the germans sure kicked ass in womens soccerball last other day before last.

 

Well, to start, what a freaking piss off that the first leg of the race is literally in my backyard, at the COP. DON WE COULD HAVE pulled in for a quick beer ! bastards, fascists, heathens, pagans, damn the all father Odin himself.

 

ok that will not be the last spurt of madness this year im sure, but whatever, Kim kardassSHEin.

 

Seems they spent most of the time focusing on the front runners this episode, AND THANK KANYE WEST that chick on moms team puked in the airplane, and while parachuting, IM NOT ALONE. good on her for pulling through though, thats gonna be a tough team. im secretly rooting for them because hockey.

 

and oh ya , they got first. yay mom !! good start !! etc. Jens frenchies got second. i think the dancing guy dudes ( guy not gay ) came in third. some other teams placed otherwise.

 

DEENA, sorry but the bffs FOREVER BECAUSE ALLAH, they are out. but , lucky you, the Mom-son and Gay dudes seem pretty strong. SO BUY BACK IN DONT BE A )$(#*#$)(#/. etc. my team was second last, maybe i'll buy back in next week.

 

Dan, Kryla and Mom all came away with 1 point. I'll email the list 2 weeks from now.

 

Jen and I are in JAMAICA BITCHES starting tnight, so Deena said she'd handle the email next week.---also, please email your picks to me / deena / ALL, EMAIL ALL, for the elimination next week.

 

I'll go on record and pick my own team to be out.

 

well, i'm off. enjoy life.

Week TWO

To my pleasant surprise, my team is out, and looks like this week the amazing race is going bloody global. I'll save the curses.

due to my weakling dislocated mel gibson style arm ish dude, im out this week.

I am annoyed with various things, and happy about various others.

first --- freaking host has the worst host voice. i would like to slap him, then when he protests, slap him again, then kick him in his baby maker so that he can never reproduce. then install one of those ive smoked too much in my life throat talking devices. then game on.

moms team is in first again, can't not like them because hockey and such. good for them !!!!! go mom !!!!

jens frenchies are in second, they are fun and talk french lots and get mad lots but go them !!!!

rob hippies should actually be the gay dudes. i hope they both get their hair stuck in a blender. bill and ted. bogus adventure. god just shut up with your hippy shit slang. they should have to be high every episode. at least.

Dee's new team mom son is in fourth, i have this sick feeling like theres some incest going on here. ok ok no no no just lovely parental bonding. but she totally kicks her sons ass. he'll probably never have a girlfriend.

willsters twins are in 5th, moving on up, i think they are a good team. good fellers.

kylas biologically useless siblings are next, boy are they smart university students. but they are fun.

dons bartenders are next, hope they pick it up a notch or two, they are really serving up quality cocktails ............................................

the LGBT crews are in last and second last. seriously =---- FINISH A TASK YOU USELESS NON STRAIGHT FELLOWS. my new team. yay. freaking useless.

useless as ---- a pig on shit.

useless as ---- oh whatever im tired ok.

SEND IN YOUR PICKS QUICK. next week they are in hong kong. asswipes.

ive attached the thing. everyone is doing stuff.

 

Week tHRESDRFESFSE

 

Well, ladies and gentlemen. Things just got slant eyed.

hahahah.

Great show this week. Looks like moms team did indeed get a hat trick, turd win in a row !!!!! Kyla also got a hat trick, by picking three correct eliminations in a row!! Congrats !!! you're adopted. this puts mom and kyla tied for first. FIRST IS THE WORST

deenas new momson came in second....boy they hold hands alot...isnt he at least 18 ?? creeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. great energy on her behalf. hes useless.

the french tricksters came in third i think. i for one have no problem with them tricking the pot heads, as they are high and easy to fool......oh man...the twins went that way man, they oh man they went in there dude....dude im so hungry

pot heads were in fourth, hopefully next week they get stuck in an opium den and get sold into slavery.

dons bartenders improved a bit this week and they are in 5th. better get their collective excrement together

jens frenchies are the most fun couple to watch fighting. and yappy yap in french

french

my useless team is next, i really hope they lose out, i think " REX ALMIGHTY HARRINGTON"" needs a kick in his ego filled testicles. maybe that'll set him straight.............see what i did there ?

ps : who the hell is rex harrington and why did some random TORONTONIAN recognize him.

biologically useless gluten free sibllings were in second last and it looks like they will be out next week but I BET A DONUT it will be a non-elimination.

ok thats all i have for now.

seacrest out

oh shit, Dan you're out, again. please issue a media statement on your feelings toward the LGTC community, and your team, and answer these questions.

 

how do you feel about tattooed lesbians ?

how do you feel about lesbians and gays taking over the 5th world ?

if you could be a lesbian , what kind of crocks would you wear ?

if you could pick and gay man to elect president , how would you cook your eggs in the morning ?

finally, if three hens molested a isotropic triangle, would the offspring be republican?