GAY FREAKING PARIS

happy gay, not gay gay.

First of all --- thanks dude for proposing in paris and setting the bar high - asswipe. Jen and I were on that bridge of locks. however we couldn't afford to seal our love via locking mechanism and dirty river. I can't wait for the day that bridge collapses under the weight of all those excess locks, and everyones locks sink to the depths of that murky river, forever forgotten. until one day in the far future when the americans take over the world ( at this point every other country harbors terrorists so they invade everywhere, to keep the peace of course ) they will find the locks and attribute them to treasure and make up some far fetched fairy tale about french people locking their armpit hair in boxes and such. whatever.

SO , Sossy and Jinder utlized their power to u-turn the bartenders, and were quite happy about it. I decided that j-tits is a douche bag and i hope he falls on his face and swallows his front tooth. Succubas - Sukhi - shes crazy man. like bat shit crazy.

mom's hockey heroes are in first. again. If they don't win the whole thing, well who cares they have enough trips and cash stocked up to be happy . I cant say much bad about them, they are kind little lassies. too bad they can't shoot a puck.

The useless -- douche and half -- siblings came in second. Kylas team. how come kyla you always pick the pricks ? remember SATAN chick you picked ?? well they aren't that bad. they are probably terrorists though.

Robs hippies came in third. the blond dude much have speech problems, as he always shows his excitement with screams --- yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy -- etc. i can't believe they went all the way out of paris. turd blossoms.

jens romantic couple came in 4th. vive la paris et l'amour and shit. so lovely.

the bartenders scraped by and came in 5th. i like them more now that they have it out for the incest bro'sis . jk. KIDDING

and the french twins are out. sad. i actually liked them. sure they were a bit backstabbers and such but they was funny.

With that --- I guess i no longer need picks from the simair family --WHO STOPPED WATCHING ANYWAY BLASPHEMERS - because like me --- they are out and have no chance to win. so i wont be picking either.

ITS UP TO THE FINAL FIVE --- JENMOMDADKRYLAROB

send me your picks. its very important now, it is possible for Kyla or Mom to steal this competition early , with 3 elimination points left, and 4 leg winner points.

SO THINK HARD AND PICK ACCORDINGLY

as always -- keep fit and drink beer

WEAK FIVE hahahahaha

Winnipeg. I can't wait to go there again and stand at their most popular intersection, Portage and dick. Seriously : this intersection is known for its coldness and heavy winds. Sounds like a good spot. Maybe that's where you go for an icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker ( CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY) 

sorry Willis, I hope you aren't reading these.

All jokes aside, I think everyone would be ok if winnipeg changed it's name to: Sphincter of canada.

enough against winnipeg

Highlight of the episode: Olympians failing at life, hockey, whilst the hippies score like they wish they would have on Cormacs mom.

Lowlight: Jon M yet again avoided being slapped, by anyone. COME ON JUST ONCE HIT THAT GUY. maybe in the family jewels, might drop his voice an octave or two.

ok so. WIllis !!! good job buddy !! Napoleons sons came in first !!! backstabbing devils. so french, good for them though. 

Jen's team came in second. I like them. they are fun. shes french an stuff. he looks like DMX. OH DONT BE RACIST

Robs hippies came in third, although i don't think they knew that. bro.

Sucktits and Jubilation came in 4th. I have to say, they did really good on skates for having never done it. Actually, sukee ( from true blood ) does pretty good at stuff shes never done. Shes just terrible at everyone else ie: breathing. walking, living.

Moms team dropped to 5th, I bet they are out next leg. I mean come on. who can't hit the five hole ??? its really not elusive. Jon M does it all the time with his boyfriend.

Don's bartenders....i just don't know about these guys. Although buddy nailed the singing thing. they just cant seem to get ahead. probably too much acid.

ALAS, THEY AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO IS OUT. thank Thor above. Im out again. SONOFABITCH

oh well. at least they didnt cry. I wonder if Rex's partner ( who knows his name??? seriously its like Rex and ..and .... and ... Rex's partner. anyways i wonder if he was jealous when Rex was touching that ballerina. hes probably bi.

alright --- hope everyone is enjoying their lives. 

SEND ME YOUR PICKS OR I"LL DUTCH OVEN EVERY ONE OF YOU.

ps the fascists are all going to France. fuckers.

I heart Telus

Describe a scenario where you would use OPTIK ON THE GO:

It's late, I'm at work. I'm bored to death. I need something to pass the time, so I venture onto the world wide web to sate my need for entertainment. There I find Telus on the go, which a meager selection of tv programs varying from completely useless, to borderline psychotic. I tune in to pass the time, quickly turning off HBO when it shows boobs, because then I'll get fired. The other workers are interested, and now I'm charging them by the hour. THANK THE GODS FOR TELUS ON THE GO. PS, what the hll is this little lion looking at??? probably feeding him the hearts of small humans.

What is the best thing about OPTIK ON THE GO:

Nothing, there is no best thing. it's not sex, it's not free money, it's literally advertisement on the go. GOOD GOD JIM CAN"T WE JUST HAVE TV AT HOME ?????? what's wrong with you people. Ok ok that was mean, I don't know any of you personally. I'm sure you're all gems, in fact. Come over for dinner and drinks

What is the worst thing about OPTIK ON THE GO:

Sometimes, when you watch 5 hours straight of tv, you forget to urinate. BUT THE BONUS, is that if you just watched Lawyer Lawyer with Jim Carey , he will tell you the symptoms of not peeing ---- you will lose the ability to get a har ---- boner. its a boner. the answer was boner.

What could Telus do to improve your viewing experience?

If it would be possible, could you please send some sort of servant to make me popcorn and provide some sort of jelly donut? Sometimes when I watch tv I get really lazy. Lucky for me I'm learning so many things on tv.